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What's New from the kids' view

25/02/2016

 

IMPROVING OUR SENTENCES
Students in 4M have been studying language features in narratives. This week we looked at noun groups, powerful verbs and show,don’t tell.  The following students were given a simple sentence-
The shed was dusty.
They then had to transform the sentence so that it painted a picture for the reader.
 
Dust clung to every surface. Cobwebs hung from broken beams. Rats covered in soot scurried across the dirt floor. Darkness was approaching as I searched for the doorknob. When was I ever going to get out of here…
By Emily.B
 
The incredibly dusty 19th century shed was sitting there like a block of damaged debris. As I opened the door, a revolting smell made its way to my nose. A mouldy disgusting rat scurried across the barren floor.
By Oliver.H 
 
Crrrrreeeaaakkk! I pushed the tin door open. Poof! A wave of dust hit me. Instantly, a revolting smell started climbing up my nose. Was it dead rats or dead snakes? I couldn’t tell. Whatever it was. I couldn’t STAND it! Cobwebs slid onto my face. Rats creeped in the dark. I tried to squeeze through a thin passage without letting any mould or mist touching my body. I shivered. When would I get out…
Indigo. W
          
 
 
 

 



 


 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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